When new things come

It's been about 2 weeks. Tomorrow will be my second Saturday. I finally have 2 brides on the books for tomorrow that I am really excited about. It's kinda crazy that I do this for a living. Play dress up with big pretty white dresses. It's like having my own personal barbie doll.

The hardest thing about starting a new job is not learning all ins and outs, which will come naturally with time, but it's the people. If you don't know how to work with people, I recommend becoming self employed and work from home as some sort of computer programmer or something. Because that might be the only place where you won't interact much with people. And I'm not even talking about customers. I'm talking colleagues. The other employees. Learning to work well with other people is really an art form. One that I'm trying to perfect. This time has been a little bit of a rocky start, but once I asked Jesus to break down my pride and to see some of these people how He sees them, it's gotten easier. Mind you I'm still human. I mess up. But He helps me.

It's new challenge. A way to grow. Stretch. Become like Christ.
"I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some" 1 Corinthians 9:22b

Fear of...being known?

You know what one of the top 5 things I fear about starting a new job is? Letting people into my world. Especially when I meet a group of people who have no connection to who I am. What I'm about. What I represent. It's dumb, I know, and probably a lot more selfish. But it's true and it's there. I'm just wondering how I'll feel after that first friend request. I think it goes back to that high school fear of letting others too close. Must. close. doors. What kind of level are these ladies going to know me on?

The thing about this industry. Weddings. It's not as much about selling what you do or the right gown for them, it's more about selling you. "Your goal is to make them fall in love with you and the store and the dress will come second." Great. You pretty much have to be instant best friends. I mean, you go from not knowing them, to seeing them scantily clad ::blush:: we'll see how this goes...

Book snatcher

I'm having a hard time with this whole book swap scenario. I recently joined a book swapping site. The whole premise is that you list your book preferences, past reads, and genres you enjoy. Someone sends you a book and in return, you send them one of yours. It's brilliant really, considering that most people make little notes as to the good points and why it was so special to them. But that's the point, you see. I'm attached to every book that I read. They're special because I've read them.

I've read somewhere that people sometimes give away their clothes because they can't stand the memory they had in them and want to give them to someone else to make a new memory. I'm the opposite. There is a memory attached to every book that I've read. How I was feeling at the time, what events occurred, how it changed my outlook on life. Everything. And I want to cherish those feelings even if it's painful. I want to keep them. Because in the end, it's what you have left with people. When you sift through all the garbage of some relationships or the beauty of others, what you have left are the memories. And for me, it's attached to my books...

Chalk

                      

Happy Music

Things get stressful. I get too self-absorbed. I get selfish. I say something I wish I could take back. When this happens, I take a break. In my room. On my hammock. Somewhere. I put on my happy music playlist. Hit shuffle. The Swell Season.

 

Then maybe I take something out that makes me smile. Like these guys. And figure out ways to incorporate them into a wedding.

 Then I open a book. At the moment? It's Pride and Prejudice....again. 

And so I let the voice of Glen Hansard bring me somewhere else. I ask God to fix this wretched heart of mine. And I imagine the gardens of Pemberley...