September 3 Picture

Just one. A self Portrait.

September Picture Explosion...

My camera has been collecting dust. It's quite pathetic really. And it upsets me; and then i get upset with myself for letting my camera collect dust; and well, you can probably figure out where that goes.

So I've challenged myself. Not that I've ever really fulfilled a challenge I've given to myself, but this one might just stick. For the next month, I will be taking my camera with me everywhere I go. Everywhere. Even if I don't want to. And all I have to do it take 1 picture a day. Just one. And post it on this blog. Now....let's me honest here, this is me we're talking about. I won't be posting every day. Hopefully, at least once a week, in which I will compile each day's pictures and comment about them.

They'll probably be completely lame because I don't get inspired often. They may be a few self-portraits. And they will almost always be completely ridiculous because that's a little bit of who I am.

So let's see how this goes. Just my camera, my 35mm lens, and my less-than-professional skill...


So to kick it off, here is today's:

These are the best things on earth. No exaggeration. If you like almonds, and some spice, go to publix and buy these right now.

To those last years

Ok college seniors, this ones for you.

This may seem like an ill-placed time to be talking about graduation tips and token "reach for the stars" mementos that people give you, but really this is the perfect place. At the beginning of the end.

You ever see something in your future and completely dread it? Like going to the dentist? Or realizing your favorite pair of jeans are getting a hole in a really bad place and you'll need to get new ones soon? Those kinds of things. That was sort of what graduating college was for me. 2 years ago around this time, I entered into my last year of college. And I was terrified. What the heck, no more school?! Nothing else really mattered. I was sure that in a few short months (because we know it all flies by), my life would be completely different. And I didn't like it....at. all.

You should probably know a few things about me (if you happen to randomly stumble across my blog NOT as a result of a facebook post). I don't do the best with change. I'm getting better. Really. Change scares me a lot. The big kind. The kind that you just kinda jump into without really knowing how it's going to work out. Yea, that one.

So graduating college had THAT written all over it. Especially since my major didn't exactly scream "i'm going to be super successful!" and most people just tilted their head and nodded when I told them what my major was. There were several google searches done that looked something like "what to do with a humanities major" and "jobs that don't need degrees in that field".

As the months flew by and g-day approached, I think I just kept dreading the time when my security blanket would be ripped out from under me. Suddenly I couldn't tell myself that the reason I didn't hang out with friends is that school is so overwhelming. It couldn't be the thing I turned to as my excuse for being broke, for being unsure of the future, and for not having a clue. I put this insane pressure on myself to have it together, because you know that when all your parent's friends ask you what you're doing with you're life, you have to tell them your 5 year plan that is all mapped out. It was a little ridiculous, I can assure you.

And then I gained some much needed perspective. In my panic, I forgot about my entire life. And Ms. Hibbs. My senior American Government and Economics teacher. When I was in her class, despite what we were talking about, she would have stories of life experiences in a wide range of occupations. I remember thinking to myself, "When I'm 65, I want to have stories." I don't want to tell my grandkids, "well, I was a teacher for 45 years." I want to tell them about all my different jobs, the people I met, and the lives that impacted me through those varieties of experiences.

That being said, I have one thing to say to you college seniors entering into your last year. "It's going to be ok." Profound, I know (sarcasm intended). Honestly, it will be ok. The stressing, the tears, the worry, all the "i don't knows" will become a part of the past. Who cares whether you have your life planned out when graduate or not? What does it matter? What we need to realize and keep in perspective is that we have our ENTIRE LIVES ahead of us. Don't map out your life like a schedule and then be fearful when everything does not come together perfectly.

I speak to myself also when I say this: Let it be ok. Don't be afraid of the future. Trust that the Lord has you in the palm of His hand. Know that everything will work out.

Good job boy

I still can't look at a picture of him without crying. 16 years. My dad said something I don't think I'll ever forget. He told him "you did a good job at raising them. thanks." He did. Thanks scooter. RIP

Just for you

It's been a long day. One of those days where things keep piling up. People are yelling at you and you have no clue why. Things are being misplaced. You're being pulled in lots of different directions. To the point where your brain starts hurting. You want to tell people to grow up, stop acting like a baby, and put on their big girl pants. Just one of those days...

And at the end of it, I get in my car and sigh. And then I look up....
And God quite literally says to me, "Here my love, I made this for you"

...and I rested

When sparks fly

You know that lazy rainy day when all you want to do is stretch out on your bed like a cat and enjoy the sounds? When you start thinking about your future, what you think you'll be doing a year from now. Then Sparks by Coldplay happens to come on at the perfect time. And for whatever reason, all the anxiety you were feeling seems to melt away and things seem a little more simple. Not so complicated, so detailed, so exhausting. It's like God takes a special interest in what makes you happy for that minute or so. A thank you is needed. And then it's all ok again...

To family groups 62 and 64:

I have never been so encouraged by summer camp as I have this past one. You guys taught me so much. You taught me how the grace of God works. You taught me how prayer works. I wrote down your expectations and hopes for being at camp and prayed over them. Nightly. And God showed up in big ways. It's amazing to me how God uses nobodies to affect others. Just like with Daniel. Throughout the entire week, I was so blessed by how you guys opened up and allowed God to work in your life. Letting Him soften your hearts and break down the walls. He brought you to that mountain top with Him. But just as Andrew said, Jesus doesn't live in Deland, Florida. He's here. With you. During those hard times when you feel like no one understands. No one knows you. No one loves you. He's there. The feelings you felt during camp and how close you felt to God during that time CAN continue. The question is, are you able? Are you able to be devoted? How big is your God?

Thank you for letting Tim and I be your small group leaders. Continue to rest in Him, seek Him, know Him, be devoted to Him. "Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. That good thing which was committed to you, keep by the Holy Spirit who dwells in us." 2 Timothy 1: 13-14