Christmas in Tallahassee...

I'm going up to Tallahassee tomorrow. Going to visit the aunt, cousins, and grandma. I'm excited about spending Christmas in cold but not mind numbingly cold weather. I'm excited to wear my scarves all day.

And this year, I have a plan. There are two large stacks of books lying next to my bed and I entirely plan on bringing them along and making a big dent in those books. I also plan on being outside way more. I am going to finally put my bucket list on one sheet of paper (at the moment it's broken into various sheets and a few word documents). I'm going to brainstorm names for my wedding planning business (input is appreciated). I'm going to (if I can get internet access) pour over jasmine star's old blog posts about starting her wedding photography business because I would like to model my business very much after hers. I'm going to work on my friend's wedding. I'm going to shoot my bow. I'm going to relax. And I'm going to enjoy Christmas.

It makes my heart hurt...

It makes my heart hurt when I watch kids go off to college and forget about who God truly is. It makes my heart hurt when I see good friends find redemption in Him only to fall away from God again because their faith was not made real. It makes my heart hurt to think that it's possible that I won't see some of my family in heaven. It makes my heart hurt when I watch close friends make poor decisions. It makes my hurt hurt to watch the insensitivity people have toward other people, and to know that often times I do the same thing. It makes my heart hurt to think about how much God's heart must hurt when I don't love Him like I should; when He watches people push Him away because they think He's not enough for them; when they deny what happened on the cross. It makes my heart hurt to know that every time I sin, I'm pushing Christ farther from me; to know that I'm telling Him that something is more important to me than what He did for me at Calvary.

Personal:: Childhood Memories

I hate tulle. Anyone who's ever talked to me about wedding dresses can attest to it. And I remember when that hatred started. I was 5 and my mom bought me my first poofy dress, complete with tulle underneath a flowery skirt. I was less than thrilled to wear it to church that Sunday. It was terrible. The tulle underneath the dress itched like crazy and I couldn't sit still to save my life. I think it ripped a hole in my white stockings too. A couple of bickering fights and a pair of scissors later, my dress was no longer poofy and I was a happy 5 year old. Thus started my hate for dresses with tulle.

One of those days

       It's just been one of those days. The kind where you don't change out of your pajamas, your hair looks like something out of a Frankenstein movie, and somehow the idea of responsibility and productivity elope from your mind. Bobby pins are my best friends on days like this. The basket of folded laundry on my bed won't put itself away, I'm littered with piles of recipes that I'm sorting, and somehow 24 hours after I clean my room, it's messy again.

        I've got a stack of books sitting next to my bed and coffee cups of various sizes sitting on shelves. My bible and journal remain open from this morning, and I can't seem to make myself throw away the wilting roses sitting on my shelf.




Sometimes days like these are alright.

Day 4

Time Awake: 6:30 (I don't think I even  heard the alarm until it was ringing at 6:15)

Tasks Accomplished: Prayer. Time spent with Jesus. Finished Crazy Love. Was inspired to love people. Went over small group curriculum for today. Prayed for my small group girls.

Likes: Getting up early is getting easier. That moment when I first wake up and am able to see the majesty of Christ through the beautiful sunrise as I thank Him for the day. The reading I'm able to get done. Not having excuses for my lack of time.

Dislikes: Still being tired. The fact that it takes me 45 minutes to be coherent; I have a feeling that it'll get easier.

Day 2

Time Awake: 6:15 am

Tasks Accomplished: Jesus time. Flipped through a magazine. Read another 2 chapters in Crazy Love. Watched an episode of The Office. Successfully made a cup of coffee


Likes: Knowing that I got those things done that are important to me in the beginning of the day so that by the time I'm usually waking up, I can do those things that I normally would push to the next day


Dislikes: I'm dead tired. It took me 45 minutes to be coherent enough to check my email. When the weather outside does not promote my goal of waking up early: like today.


Side note: I'm pretty sure I need a new copy of My Utmost For His Highest.

Day 1

Time Awake: 6:10

Tasks Accomplished: Walked & fed dog and cats. Unsuccessfully made coffee. Laundry. Spent time with God. Read about Calvinism & Arminianism. Read 2 chapters in Crazy Love. Listened to entire Jesus Culture album.

Likes: More time to read and spend time with God. Feel good about myself and my day. Able to spend time in prayer for others (something severely lacking in my life).

Dislikes: How cold it is that early in the morning.

Goal for this week: Finish Crazy Love