What am I doing?

God, what am I doing? Probably something I've uttered more times this year than I ever have before. But really, what am I doing? It's like I want to say to myself, "Alright God, I've tried bargaining with you. I read Your Word more and do the christian thing better, and You tell me where I am right now and what I'm doing with my life. Right Now." I can just imagine God up there chuckling, because you know that His children make him laugh. But not in a condecending way, but in a "I love you and know what's best for you" way. And when I get to that point, like tonight, He whispers that to me. He tells me to trust Him.  To trust in His word that tells me that He has a hope and a future for me and He will never leave me. Never leave me alone.

But God, do you know the kind of pressure I"m under? Do you understand that my dad is so frustrated with me? Heh, as if He didn't know. He had the ultimate pressure put on His shoulders as He carried that cross up the hill. Knowing. Knowing full well what was coming, and yet He did. Because He loves me, and He knows what's best for me.

Help me fulfill all your dreams for these days,
Jesus I’ll patiently wait

Wedding Bliss

I just have to share some recent wedding stuff that I love. I'm in love with this BEAUTIFUL Monique Lhullier gown. It's got the lace, and the full skirt and the dropped waist. It's really odd that I would like this because in general, I really hate pick-ups in a skirt. You know, where it makes it look like a down comforter? But depending on the fabric and how it's placed, it can look perfect.

You also have to check out this divine wedding that was shot by Jessica Claire. It's perfect. Literally, I love just about everything. Her dress, another Monique Lhullier gown, was divine and the reception space? Those black and white chairs at the Biltmore just screamed elegance to me. Aside from the cabbage? bouquets that the girls carried, I love this wedding. Jessica Claire is also fantastic so I think she just documented the wedding perfectly, with so many moments that just made me ::sigh::

Holly and Joe's Wedding

Nepotism in the workplace: Job hunting in 2010

Do you know how incredible awkward it is to make cold calls? "Blah Blah Blah company, this is Sue, how many I help you?" "Hello, my name is _____ and I'm calling to find out about any job openings within your company." "Sorry, we're not hiring." "So....there's no chance at all?" ".....Do you have a relative within the company?" "Uh, no, but I once..." "Then no...sorry."

My parents are beginning to wonder why I don't have a job yet. My dad can't seem to understand why I don't just take another part time job until I find the job I want. And I can't understand why he would want me to take a job that I don't plan on having long term, have them train me, and then leave. That makes less sense to me...

The wedding industry in incredibly nepotistic. You only get hired if you "know a guy." Like the mafia. 

Would it be incredibly arrogant to start my own business? People keep suggesting it and while the thought keeps running through my mind more and more, I can't shake this feeling that starting my own business with just a little bit of experience and absolutely zero business sense seems forward and arrogant. Is my perception wrong?

Food. Fun: A week of pictures

i adore him

farmhouse soup ingredients

rice krispie treat:: i forgot the butter

all things good

::sigh::

burnt orzo

::love::

mushrooms

stellar lighting in my house

my kitchen when i'm done with it

most massive woman wins

limo ride

greek yogurt with berries ::love::

kisses

love these girls

worship

six78

thanks for looking :)

50 questions about me

I occasionally enjoy doing these things :)

1. Do you like blue cheese? Will I get it on a salad? No. Will I eat it with chicken wings? Yes

2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No, that's pretty gross

3.Do you own a gun? Yes – several

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I'm a straight up Strawberry Limeade girl

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Yes. I hate the doctors

6. Do you like hot-dogs? Only if they have lots of stuff on them :)

7. Favorite Christmas Song? Oh gosh, I don't think I have a favorite. Definitely "have yourself a merry little christmas" and "the christmas song"

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Nothing in particular. Just water

9. Can you do push-ups? I can do girl push ups. Classic push ups....not so much

10. What’s your favorite meal? Pretty much anything my mom cooks. I'm not picky. Soul food is real good

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My grandma's ring and my purity ring

12. Favorite hobby? Photography and cooking

13. Do you work with people who idolize you? That would be a no.

14. Name a trait that you hate about yourself? Why focus on the negative?

15. Middle name? Lynne

16. Name 3 thoughts at this moment: Wow, my room has stayed clean for a week. "Fix You" is an amazing song. I hope I can sell all my books.

17. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: I didn't spend any money yesterday. No wait, I bought a bottle of water

18. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Water, milk, tea

19. Current worry right now? Hoping for a full time job

20. Current hate right now? lotion. it drives me nuts but is necessary if i don't want to dry out my skin.

21. Favorite place to be? On a horse ranch at sunset

22. How did you bring in New Years? With friends at an 80's party

23. Favorite place to go? anywhere where there's horses

24. What is your most recurring dream? meeting a certain friend at the supermarket.

25. Introvert or extrovert? I'm an introvert with certain extrovert qualities

26. What color shirt are you wearing? Green

27. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I've never slept on satin sheets

28. Can you whistle? No :(

29. Favorite color(s)? I hate this question. I don't have one or many. I like pretty much everything

30. Would you be a pirate? I'd rather be a ninja but yes, i would

31. What songs do you sing in the shower? I sing along with whatever is on my ipod at the moment

32. Favorite girl’s name? April

33. Favorite boy’s name? Andrew

34. Who is your loudest friend? Amber Rabolli :) love you!

35. What’s in your pocket right now? 3 bobby pins and $1.50 in quarters

36. Last thing that made you laugh? The story about the homeless man that peed on Pastor Billy's front seat

37. Bed sheets as a child? blue checkers

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I tore a ligament in my ankle last year. That hurt pretty bad

39. Do you love where you live? No. I want to live in the mountains

40. How many TV’s are in your house? 2

41. What is your worst habit? i forget to do things a lot (personal things, not work things)

42. How many dogs do you have? 1 dog, 1 cat

43. Does someone have a crush on you? I don't think so

44. Do you own slippers? I do. Do I wear them? No

45. What is your favorite book? Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

46. What is your favorite candy? sour gummy worms

47. What is your favorite sports team? I don't have one

8. What song do you want played at your funeral? Something coldplay

49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Reading

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? What time is it? and Crap, do I have to work today? No? Awesome

Recent Google Searches

a list of all my most recent google searches. one for every letter in the alphabet:

• adobe lightroon
• Buick replacement car key
• quinoa
• xbox live
• substitute for fontina cheese
• rachel ashwell
• learn photoshop
• pastafarianism
• modern vintage wedding dress
• yogurtland
• charistmatic christians
• dalit freedom network
• fine cooking magazine
• Once
• greyson chance
• i feel like i just ate a hot pocket
• eli roth
• wedding planner jobs
• how to unzip a file in mac
• korean mafia
• using iphoto with facebook
• vintage wedding
• Nikon 35mm /f 1.8
• jesus culture
• the swell season
• zen circle

Awkward Moments

Things that are awkward in life:

• When you're walking past a tennis court and the ball lands right at your feet and you have to throw it over the fence so that people playing can use it again. I'm always afraid I'm gunna suck at throwing and not make it over the fence. The same goes for having to throw back a frisbee when it's landed at your feet
• Trying to take someone's photograph when they clearly don't know what to do in front of a camera
• Photo shoots in general
• When you accidently walk in on someone going to the bathroom
• When you walk into a dressing room expecting it to be empty because the door was open
• Men in the bra section of a department store
• The next time you see someone after they've gotten married
• The last time you see that same person before they drive away after the reception
• The moment after a first kiss
• ::stolen from Ashley Sellers:: That time in a movie theater right after the movie ends. 
• Getting underwear from your parents at Christmas
• Meeting new people
• The first day of classes in college
• Running on the beach
• Bathing suits
• Hearing Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" when you're shopping with your mom, dad, or boyfriend
• Figuring out what to get your new boyfriend for either his birthday or Christmas
• Skype
• The shuffle option on iPod's at a party when you forgot that you downloaded that Miley Cyrus song as a gag for your friend
• Seeing someone who's your friend on facebook whom you've never actually spoken to in person. Do you say hi, my name is _____ or do you treat it like you guys have already been friends?
• Not being introduced to someone in a group and then you see them next week at the mall and you wonder whether you should acknowledge their existence or just get out your phone
• Those good looking hispanic men who try to sell you perfume or touch your hands at the mall kiosks
• Being shown around a house
• Not knowing how to shut off your own car alarm
• Trying to get to your car in public when it's raining and you don't have an umbrella. Do you run or do you play it cool like, it's ok that I'm getting wet, cuz I don't care about those things!
• That first 30 minutes of a road trip with people you don't know that well
• When you're a natural hugger and you meet someone and by the end of the night, you don't know whether to hug that person goodbye or not because you don't want to seem like a creep
• First Dates

And this is all I can think of for now. Feel free to comment with more of your own awkward moments.