Friday, August 19, 2011

To those last years

Ok college seniors, this ones for you.

This may seem like an ill-placed time to be talking about graduation tips and token "reach for the stars" mementos that people give you, but really this is the perfect place. At the beginning of the end.

You ever see something in your future and completely dread it? Like going to the dentist? Or realizing your favorite pair of jeans are getting a hole in a really bad place and you'll need to get new ones soon? Those kinds of things. That was sort of what graduating college was for me. 2 years ago around this time, I entered into my last year of college. And I was terrified. What the heck, no more school?! Nothing else really mattered. I was sure that in a few short months (because we know it all flies by), my life would be completely different. And I didn't like all.

You should probably know a few things about me (if you happen to randomly stumble across my blog NOT as a result of a facebook post). I don't do the best with change. I'm getting better. Really. Change scares me a lot. The big kind. The kind that you just kinda jump into without really knowing how it's going to work out. Yea, that one.

So graduating college had THAT written all over it. Especially since my major didn't exactly scream "i'm going to be super successful!" and most people just tilted their head and nodded when I told them what my major was. There were several google searches done that looked something like "what to do with a humanities major" and "jobs that don't need degrees in that field".

As the months flew by and g-day approached, I think I just kept dreading the time when my security blanket would be ripped out from under me. Suddenly I couldn't tell myself that the reason I didn't hang out with friends is that school is so overwhelming. It couldn't be the thing I turned to as my excuse for being broke, for being unsure of the future, and for not having a clue. I put this insane pressure on myself to have it together, because you know that when all your parent's friends ask you what you're doing with you're life, you have to tell them your 5 year plan that is all mapped out. It was a little ridiculous, I can assure you.

And then I gained some much needed perspective. In my panic, I forgot about my entire life. And Ms. Hibbs. My senior American Government and Economics teacher. When I was in her class, despite what we were talking about, she would have stories of life experiences in a wide range of occupations. I remember thinking to myself, "When I'm 65, I want to have stories." I don't want to tell my grandkids, "well, I was a teacher for 45 years." I want to tell them about all my different jobs, the people I met, and the lives that impacted me through those varieties of experiences.

That being said, I have one thing to say to you college seniors entering into your last year. "It's going to be ok." Profound, I know (sarcasm intended). Honestly, it will be ok. The stressing, the tears, the worry, all the "i don't knows" will become a part of the past. Who cares whether you have your life planned out when graduate or not? What does it matter? What we need to realize and keep in perspective is that we have our ENTIRE LIVES ahead of us. Don't map out your life like a schedule and then be fearful when everything does not come together perfectly.

I speak to myself also when I say this: Let it be ok. Don't be afraid of the future. Trust that the Lord has you in the palm of His hand. Know that everything will work out.

Good job boy

I still can't look at a picture of him without crying. 16 years. My dad said something I don't think I'll ever forget. He told him "you did a good job at raising them. thanks." He did. Thanks scooter. RIP