Sunday, November 15, 2009

An Adult?

I went to Jamie's bridal shower today. It was lovely and of course she looked perfect. Traditional bridal games were played including a surprise visit from the groom. I'm so excited for them and can't wait to see her walk down the aisle, though I'm sure Mark is a little more. I've got good ideas brewing for when my bridal shower comes...
I'm almost done with school. I realized after stressing about registering for my spring semester that this was the last time I was going to register at FAU for my bachelors. It kind of freaks me out. I've been hit with the reality that once I graduate from college, I'm going to be an adult. I'm an adult now, but once I graduate, I'll have a bachelor's degree and will have to move onto to bigger things. No more working part time jobs and living in the now. Now it's time for getting a real job, using my degree, and putting money away for my future.
I'm now at that point where I have crossed the threshhold of being considered one of the youth. At a meeting at church the other day which included many high schoolers, Mike asked for all the adults to stay afterwards so he could talk to them. This included me. It was weird. Of course I knew I was an adult up to that point, and I had been called a leader many times, but it was the first time that I was referred to as an adult, among the parents that were there, and not just a youth leader.
The kids treat me that same way that I treated adult youth leaders when I was in high school. You know, when one of them walked up to the circle that you were in with your friends and automatically, everyone gets a little hushed and straightens up a little, especially the guys. Suddenly they watch what they're saying, afraid that I'm going to pass some kind of condemnation on them. And I just keep thinking, "What? Is there a pastor around? Why is everyone so quiet?" And then I realize that its me. How can I be an adult? Wasn't I just in high school, standing around in a circle with my friends, laughing about some dirty joke that this kid told in English class while also mocking the teacher? It makes me laugh that that is where I'm at now. And pretty soon it's going to happen to them.....
I hope God can use me in their lives somehow, even if it is as an adult. I really do care about those kids a lot. Otherwise, I don't think I would spend my time on them.

It's a weird place to be at. God is good.